Retaining my intellect..

Got what the heart craved, the hours were spent in a dusty haze..

stepped and crawled on an uneven ground,

bizarre and inane were the settings in place.. I stood on the terms,

which have shaped my face, i need to evolve?!

into something receptive, something closer to the accepted norms..

Will i begin the transitional phase, is yet another mystery to resolve!

I've got the frowns and swears, vibes and talks by some unerring brains,

Break me free though leave a room..

I'll do the same of which i have been accused..

I won't change for my views are colored in the stains of past,

struggles and harsh were the realizations of moral being,

I walked past the odds and have got a stand,

No friction can stop me from achieving that starry band..

Yes, mine is an ivory tower i agree!

the doors and windows of which pave way to a virgin retreat,

spirituality of the soul and the enlightenment of the mortal heart..

white is the color of the unexplored past,

future holds a need for belonging, friends or foes will count in equal..

Will i require the wisdom wit or solace in pain..

For someone's prediction for me is a loneliness chain!

Destiny is what i make, and i have succeeded so far,

for me to decide what my days will be like. sunny and mirthful is my take..

i know i'll survive and carry the joy of realizing my potential,

not falling prey to unsound allegations.!

I'm retaining my intellect with proud on my face and purity in the soul..

NEW

The days have passed and the hours have stretched,

for a moment though a freeze was well guessed

I have stood still and the world went strong

with it's might and the things sure didn't stopped..

The loss was mine and its reasons were none

days of the dreaded freeze where ignorant were the beings

did i gambled my year, swayed through the tide..

but the achievement was far from reach

now the mercury has risen and the memories shamelessly fading..

do i owe an answer to the suffering self?!

Left to repent for someone else's blooper..

Had i been firm or the stars would have favored..

I won't have lost the span that was dearer,

Though i became major no doubt but the celebrations chocked and withered..

the days that followed had a tinge of remorse and pain,

dilemma overpowered the best of ourselves..

Questioning my intellect and choices of existence i spent the months..

months which were numbered and had no infinite end,

my 18th was squandered and i have a lot of regrets..

Had there been a change, a wish from the keeper

one who grants life and blows in mortal spirit..

i would ask for my age to reach a stagnant phase..

where i would bath in the river of immortality and loose maturity..

in exchange of a youthful grace,

lessons learnt will be left for the sages,

i'll err further and the surety is certain..

but i'll get what was denied for the leaves have browned

and the iron rusted..

the winter has paved the way for spring and light..

my hopes have been attached to a high flying kite.